Why I had to travel across the country to breastfeed in public

Did you just read that title? Is that really what happened?

Before my daughter was born, I had high hopes of feeling comfortable feeding her anywhere and anytime. I hoped that I would be able to continue my life pretty much as normal and just feed her on the go. I hoped to not be too worried about location, or covering myself.

But then reality set in. I remember being in the hospital room less than 24 hours after my baby was born. Luckily, she was a great eater and had zero problems latching, however, it is STILL a learning experience for both mom and baby. We had some visitors, and I knew it was time to feed her, at first they sat there as I tried to discreetly whip out my boob and feed my baby, but I couldn't get the angle right or something. I finally whispered something to my husband along the lines of "Um. I think I need some privacy." They were gracious enough to give me space.

LAWS AND CULTURE

Did you know that just recently, in 2018, as in THIS YEAR, we finally had laws in all 50 states protecting breastfeeding moms? I want to be clear that breastfeeding in public was NOT illegal before that. There just wasn't built in protection, so technically speaking, a mother could be charged with public indecency for feeding her baby.

But, the legality of breastfeeding isn't really the problem in my opinion. Remember prohibition? Even though alcohol consumption was illegal, it wasn't looked down on. Whereas smoking is still completely legal, but as a society we have deemed it to be not so cool. The rates of smoking began to drastically decrease by the 1990s (about 20 years after anti-smoking campaign started).

 HHS.gov

My point in all of this is, culture plays a much bigger influence than the law. It might be legal and even protected in the United States to breastfeed in public, but we are still fighting some pretty strong cultural preferences. "During the early 20th century, breastfeeding started to be viewed negatively, especially in Canada and the United States, where it was regarded as a low class and uncultured practice" (History and culture of breastfeeding, Wikipedia).

WHY IT SUCKS

Breastfeeding has its pros and cons. I am all for a baby being fed in the way that will be best for both baby and mom. I am in no way promoting compulsory laws or culture that promote breastfeeding as the only good option. But I certainly think that if we can bottle-feed (breast milk or formula) in public with no problems, the same should be true of breastfeeding.

I know this isn't everyone's experience, but I love breastfeeding. I have been fortunate enough to have a pretty easy and very happy experience. It helped me to feel empowered as a woman and connected to my baby. But, its kind of sad that I sometimes felt shame about doing something so normal and not at all sexual in public.

WHEN I SAY I HAD TO GO ACROSS THE COUNTRY

A few weeks ago, I traveled to Florida for a family reunion. I went with my baby who is still exclusively breastfed. We took a red-eye flight to get there, and so when the lights were low and most people were sleeping, I breastfed my baby uncovered for the first time in public. It was so much easier.

Every day for the rest of the trip, we were out and about eating at restaurants, at the beach, kayaking, swimming, etc. I could have bowed out, or found a more private spot to feed my baby, but I didn't, because I was surrounded by my family who supported my efforts. It gave me a sense of safety having them all with me.

So, it turns out I didn't really need to go across the country, but I did need a strong, big group of people to make me feel like it was totally fine to feed my baby anywhere, anytime.

A week or so after returning, I went out to breakfast with some friends when my baby began to fuss. I did put on a cover, but I just started feeding her. One of my friends asked "Is breastfeeding in public pretty common here?"

I replied, "I don't know... but I feed her wherever I need to."

And that felt good.